Why is Self-esteem So Important?

-CPA (Chronic pessimist approved)

Self-confidence can be a key component of excelling in almost any area in life.

When a person feels good about themselves, more opportunities present themselves to these people, because a person who can maintain a positive outlook, can see life through a broader scope of perception, and have a more accurate understanding of how the mechanics of reality operate. They have the power to look at life as filled with possibilities, instead of flooded with impossible obstacles to overcome.

When a person looks at themselves in a positive light, they seem to radiate that energy outward, creating an aura of beauty no matter the actual physical appearance, because what makes a person beautiful is a matter of opinion, and happiness looks good on everyone. I believe there is a person out there for each one of us who will love, and accept us as we are. For everyone. I’ve learned that no one should be made to feel ugly, because I know how painful of a feeling that is. We are all beautiful (males included).

One might argue that all struggles stem from inner demons and conflicts. That any issues in the world are mere projections of what we hate about ourselves. Such lovely sentiments, right?

I’m sure most can notice negative effects of having a low self-esteem, or poor view of oneself.

The thing is, for people who experience having BPD, low self-worth can be one of the most intense symptoms, because the illness distorts one’s perception of who they are down to even physical appearance.

I think most females go through a phase of insecurities at some point in their life where they question their beauty, almost as if it’s directly tied into puberty, at least, but I’ve been left with the understanding that even Victoria Secret models question their beauty.

Some people don’t experience these inner struggles as severely as others, but I think even people whom are considered the most beautiful question it, and one of the most self- sabotaging behaviors someone commits to themselves is questioning their worth, and value. I suffer with this greatly at times still, and I am blessed to have a partner who is understanding of this, and tries to offer reassurance in these moments of weaknesses for me.

With enough confidence, a person could charm vicious bees.

What happens when you lack this kind of self-confidence, though?

Life is slightly bleaker and dim looking; I’ll tell you that much. Whenever I’m at low points, I have a tendency of having a poor self-image, and look at myself in the ugliest of lights. I’m my own worst critic.

Low self-worth manifests as paranoia and fear of abandonment in my relationships. Constantly stressing over one’s worth is stressful and draining for every person involved. It’s especially hard on the partners of someone who has BPD, because trying to reassure someone that they are loved all the time can feel like a battle, and they just want the person they love to feel better. When it goes beyond what they can do to offer reassurance, it can feel like a moment of wanting to throw someone’s hands up and scream.

This then brings forth feelings of shame for a person with BPD when their actions (which can quite literally feel out their control) is causing suffering to the people who love them most.

Low self-esteem manifests itself negatively in many areas and aspects of a person’s livelihood.

From a person’s daily routine and schedules, to their personal habits, hobbies, and interpersonal relationships. This also including friends, family, and professional colleagues.

When a person feels down on themselves, it shows in their overall demeanor. They slouch more and smile less. I know when I feel upset, I might as well have a raincloud floating above my head, because it definitely shows when I am upset.

This causes stress on my relationship and I can’t stand it.

It makes me feel like root cause to a lot of my own self-inflicted moments of anger, and a lot of unnecessary arguments, and that solidifies the feeling guilt, and shame. They feel like vicious cycles.


When I am NOT feeling that way:

When I feel my best. I look my best, and when I look and feel my best?

Magic happens. The Goddess inside me is ignited, and the fury of 1000 tsunamis cannot cause me to fall.

Life will consume you with overwhelming madness if we allow it, and unfortunately, we live in a world that profits more from our hatred and pain than happiness (or so they think). There are people who make a living banking on us hating ourselves, an it’s not the poor. It’s the extremely wealthy that profit most.

BUT when we reclaim our power within? We won’t depend on outward validation as much, which


When I am accepting of who I am fully, is when I feel most inspired to strive towards my goals.

“Doubt is a thief that often
makes us fear to tread where we
might have won.”

-William Shakespeare


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