Inspiration~

“Discipline is choosing between what you want now, and what you want the most”.

-Abraham Lincoln

The problem with starting a routine or new habit isn’t doing the act itself. It is doing those things consistently. Having the discipline to stick to the schedule, and doing it even when you don’t feel like it.
A current (and ongoing) issue of mine.

Recently, I have been struggling with managing my manic episodes more than normal, as well as finding ways to consistently work on my freelance writing.
I’m able to notice the signs of when I am about to have a manic episode* fairly well now, but I’m still working on learning how to prevent them from happening.
(I have a tendency to lash out at my partner and loved ones when I am like this, so it directly affects my relationship when I don’t continue to work on it)

I have cruel thoughts, and my brain seems to detest me at times for some unknown reason, because when I say those horrible things I think out loud it just ends up being self-sabotaging behavior. When that occurs I have taught myself to step to the side and be alone so I don’t end up doing and saying things out of impulse. It ultimately isn’t anything I actually mean, and I know I will regret it.

So I have had to resort to Google for help..
On HOW to prevent manic episodes.
One key tip I saw several times though, was developing a healthy routine..

Really, making the schedule is the EASY part. I’m sure most of us can sit down and think of a list of things that should get done everyday.
The HARD part is implementing that routine in to every day life. A lot of things seem easy, in THEORY, but actually following through every day and not straying from that plan no matter what?
Now that’s a spot between a rock and a hard place, and the one I am temporarily at as of right now.
So I’m learning as I go along, and I want to try to share what seems to work for me while I learn this process, because essentially all of life is a never ending process. I won’t wait to share what I know, because I won’t ever get to a point where I know it all. So no better time than the present to spread my wealth of knowledge with the world.
I BELIEVE these things can be accurate and helpful for anyone to use, and can add to the outcome of how their day goes in a positive way.

⦁ Start everyday with the thoughts of how wonderful the day will be instead of thinking the worst. BE SO HAPPY THAT YOU FEEL OBNOXIOUS.
I used to refer to myself as a “realistic pessimist”, but honestly I was just being a really negative person. So I understand that if you have more of that kind of mindset that this may feel ridiculous.
BUT THAT’S THE POINT.
You know the people who are SO happy all the time that it’s annoying? Be like them.

⦁ Start your morning at the same time everyday with a tiny ritual. I am somewhat of an insomniac so practicing this one is fun.. I’ll be honest, mine probably isn’t a good one to mention, but I start my morning with a copious amount of caffeine.
I sit outside, listen to music, and THOROUGHLY cherish a much needed moment to myself while chugging some of the world’s strongest coffee down. As a mother, this small window of time to gain some peace of mind and sanity is crucial and a valuable commodity (it’s summer break right now too).

⦁ Take this time to charge up for the day.
My Borderline can feel the most intense in the morning so that’s why I recommend to use the morning time to recharge your batteries (and for me, my patience) for the day. I am known to react negatively and be easily provoked in the morning. I’m also known to say some fairly brutal things when I am in that state of mind, and usually to the people I love most. So I say this with love;

PULL yourself out of your brain.
(I KNOW my dream world is usually nice all times of the year as well).
Even if it is just long enough to feel the wind against your skin. To focus on your regular breathing, and feel the air you breathe go all the way down your throat and into your lungs. With as much detail as you can.
I am not talking about any kind of breathing exercise either. Only paying attention to how you naturally breathe. This has been A LOT simpler for me to practice, and it slows my brain down long enough to catch it’s breath, basically.
When I do this in the morning it sets the day off right for less over reacting at unnecessary situations, because I’m excellent at doing that in spectacular fashion, and in flying colors.

⦁ Be MINDFUL. Yes, I said it.
We all have a dream world to some extent. The place we go in our minds when we space out, and while this place can be comfortable, it is also the place where our negative thoughts torture us the most.

Memories of the past. Fears of the future. Neither of those things are actually real or tangible, but those thoughts can be the root cause of a lot of inner demons and struggles people find themselves battling.
(Yes I am fairly confident this is a thing for most people, and yes there are people who have no inner monologue abilities, but I’m not certain of those kinds of people)

*I marked the words manic episodes, because I feel that I should mention my episodes of mania are ones of aggression, and a mixture of explosive, impulsive behavior. Not to be confused with episodes of hypomania which involves more the issue of having grandiose views of yourself to the point that it is harmful. It can cause irrational decision making, and can lead to detrimental circumstances for the person having the episodes of hypomania. So not completely the same.

Routine. Routine. Routine.
Discipline while not losing ambition to continue.
Stick to it.
Don’t quit.
The rewards are more than worth the hard work.
That’s what they say at least..
So we will get there, I promise.

I have to remind myself constantly that I am a work in progress, and in order to achieve what I truly want in life I HAVE to stay focused. I have to hold myself accountable for shortcomings, and stand firmly when facing challenges.

The human mind LOVES instant gratification, but the type of gratification I am aiming for takes patience. It doesn’t happen quickly, and it probably won’t be on my time like I would prefer. This is when being persistent and CONSISTENT is detrimental to the mission (My own little inside thing. I’ll probably mention things about “the mission” more in the future).

Consistency. Consistency. Consistency.

PSA -I just want to see everyone win in life, so if you’re reading this I am totally routing for you!

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